The old chain-email list, rebuilt so you can taste them. Here is the method and
twelve of them, free, no account, nothing to click through.
All 103 as one PDF: $3, no account, or free with any paid Patreon tier. Jump to it, or keep reading: the method and twelve of the recipes are free.
Feeding a crowd? The party calculator turns a head count into boxes, booze, cups and a start time.
Why the old list didn't work
That list has been going around since at least 2010: a cup of boiling water, a box of
jello, a cup of booze. Fifty-fifty. They set soft, they tasted like the liquor cabinet had
a cold, and they worked. I made most of them. Then I fixed them.
The three changes
1. Booze at a third, not half. Half a cup per 3 oz box. You still feel it. You can also
taste the fruit.
2. Soda instead of water. Whatever soda matches the jello. Strawberry gets Redpop. Grape gets
grape. Cola shots get cola. The sugar and the flavor both help.
3. Jiggler strength. Half the liquid the box calls for, all of it hot. Alcohol fights setting;
the extra gelatin density is what wins that fight. No cold water anywhere.
The rule, per 3 oz box
1 cup soda, brought to a boil in a pot twice the size you think you need (it foams). Off heat,
whisk in the jello until there is no grit, a full two minutes. Stir in 1/2 cup booze; that is your
cooling liquid. Pour into 1 oz cups sprayed with Pam. Fridge four hours minimum, overnight is
better. One box makes 12 one-ounce shots. A 6 oz box is two of everything and makes 24.
Matching the soda
strawberry, strawberry-banana, raspberry: Faygo Redpop. cherry, black cherry: Faygo Black Cherry
or Cherry Coke. orange: Faygo Orange. grape, blackberry: Faygo Grape. lemon, lime: Faygo Twist,
Sprite, 7UP. melon: Faygo Moon Mist. pineapple, pina colada: pineapple soda if you can find it,
pineapple juice if you can't. peach: Faygo Peach. watermelon: Jarritos watermelon or Moon Mist.
blueberry, berry blue, mixed fruit, any: lemon-lime, let the jello carry it.
Any soda here can be swapped for the matching juice, cup for cup. Juice sets a little firmer,
which is never a problem. Cranberry is the one that needs it: cranberry jello is near-impossible to
find and cranberry soda barely exists, so every cranberry recipe is written as raspberry jello with
half the hot liquid cranberry juice.
That is the whole method. It is yours.
Twelve worked examples are below, free, no email. If you would rather have
all 103 already converted to the rule, with the soda matched and the proof flagged, that is the PDF.
1 cup lemon-lime soda. 1 box lime jello. 1/4 cup tequila + 1/4 cup margarita mix. Salt on top just before firm. Watermelon jello for a melon margarita.
1/2 cup cranberry juice + 1/2 cup ginger ale, heated together, splash of lime juice. 1 box raspberry jello (cranberry if you can find it). 1/4 cup vodka + 1/4 cup triple sec.
No account, no email, nothing to sign. It is yours to pass on,
and it has the method in it, which is the part that actually matters.
Or skip Patreon entirely: $3, no account, the PDF lands in your inbox.
It is $3 on its own, and free to members at any paid tier, including the $1 one.
The $1 tier also gets everything else I put there, which is a lot of jokes and
the occasional thing I probably should not have posted.
One more thing that gets mailed
Unrelated, and the same energy: I will mail an anonymous prank postcard to anyone you name.
Real card, real stamp, no return address, a joke on the front, and on the back their address, one
cryptic line, docatcdi.com and a small card code. The Mailroom.